In Oz, everything is magical. With just a wave of a wand wonderful things happen, wicked things disappear and dreams can come true. Over the rainbow life can be simply...beautiful.

Unfortunately, the road life has chosen for me was not that of the yellow brick road. The Emerald City is no where in sight. It is more often then not that I wish I had that magic wand from Oz.

Life hasn't been completely unfair to me. I have been blessed with a loving family and a beautiful son. For these things I am eternally grateful. It is my dermatomyositis and my son's fight with autism that can draining.

Hence, this blog was created. Here I will document my life…my ups and downs, my good days & bad days, my accomplishments and my life, outside of Oz.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Feeling pretty good

I must honestly say that today I am feeling pretty good. After two days of grouchiness I think it was time I snap out of it. I'm not sure why I was in such a bad mood but thankfully I am better now. Maybe it has to due with the fact that I got on my WiiFit yesterday & it said I lost another 2.2 lbs. I haven't been on for over a month and although it may not seem like a lot, to me its a big deal. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Being selfish

Sometimes I wonder if I can just have a selfish moment.

Yesterday we went apple picking. It was a nice day. My mom with along with my sister and niece, and my two cousins & their family. It was a nice group. We weren't able to go on the hay ride because they had not started it but over all it was a nice trip. After we finish we all headed to my house were we ate & chatted. It was great.

Today however I feel totally opposite. Hubby went fishing leave me to care for the household. There is so much to do there isn't a moments of rest; cleaning, laundry, taking care of the lil one & the dog (who although I walked him 4 times today, decided to pee in the house 5 times).

Sometimes I wish I could just relax & do something I enjoy doing. I can't even spend the quality time I wasn't with the lil one cause there's too much to do around the house. I get grouchy & frustrated.

To top it off I was looking at our pictures from yesterday & they were great except for the ones with me in it. I really do hate seeing what I have become. With 50 extra pounds that's to the prednisone its not hard to feel disgusted. The part i hate is that the one that i am hurting will probably be my sons since he'll look back at those days & wonder why mommy isn't around for pictures.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Just plain tired

I'm in one of my moods today... just plain tired. I woke up with a serious back ache which slowed me down. Thankfully it didnt get worse throughout the day. Now I have a headache which actually started at work and is still lingering. I'm just waiting for 8:30 to roll around so I can take my meds & go to sleep.

While dropping my son off to school today I found out the other head teacher was leaving. That make number 3 from the list of people I really liked at the school. makes you wonder doesn't; why all the good ones are leaving. Let's see what happens. At least I like his teacher.

Work has me stressed as always. A lot of this to do all at once. I really wish I could change jobs but unfortunately I am tied there untill the situation with me and my lil one gets better. I could really use the change but things are bad out there so I guess I should be gratefule I at least have a job.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


It's amazing how some people can be so ignorant sometimes. I was in the waiting room at my Dr's office yesterday waiting to be called. There was a women there talking and talking and talking. Seemed like she doesn't have anyone to talk to at home. I sat there listening to the different conversations she was striking up while I was playing with my phone.

After a while she got on the topic of vaccines and somehow I knew where the conversation was gonna lead. Sure enough it changed to autism, then to the amount of cases out there, then she said it... " These Dr's are just giving the diagnoses away to a bunch of spoiled brats who aren't disciplined." It took every ounce of me to ignore her.

Many may ask why I didn't say anything. She was plain old ignorant. You could tell by the way she was talking that she was one of those people set in her ways and my words were not going to change her view. Obviously she has never had to deal with someone with autism nor does she have a clue as to what it really entails. No one agreed with her and in fact, were kind of ignoring her rambling. Althought her words got me upset, they soon disappeared in the air and into nothingness to where they belonged.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

The Cause

My husband woke me up at 3am to tell my our parrot died. I jumped out of bed and went to his cage downstairs to find his body just laying on the bottom of his cage. I don't know what happened. He seemed fine that morning when I fed him.

When he had feathers he was a beautiful African Grey with a gorgeous red tail. Since my son was born he had become a "nudist". He was very smart & although i did all the caring, he decided to make my husband his mate and was pretty aggressive with me. Grey's require a lot of attention and ever since the diagnosis of my son & I, unfortunately that was something that was very scarce. We were trying to find him a good home with someone that could give him all the attention he deserved and had experience with Grey's. Nothing had popped up yet.

My husband said perhaps he knew we were gonna give him away & rather have died then left. Lets add guilt to my platter then, since it was my idea to give him up. So did I kill him? I guess we'll never really know the cause like I said he seemed perfectly fine that morning. At least his in a better place.

Friday, September 5, 2008

And so it starts..

Today was a so-so day. Aches are really letting me have it. Back is killing me but what can I do. I'm just happy I'm not getting any more IVIG infusions and we are finally reducing the prednisone again. Down to 15mg.

I manage to sneak by the little one as he worked with his new therapist but when he finally saw me his face lit up & he came over to give me one of those hugs that just make everything all better. What more can I ask for.