Sometimes I wonder if I can just have a selfish moment.
Yesterday we went apple picking. It was a nice day. My mom with along with my sister and niece, and my two cousins & their family. It was a nice group. We weren't able to go on the hay ride because they had not started it but over all it was a nice trip. After we finish we all headed to my house were we ate & chatted. It was great.
Today however I feel totally opposite. Hubby went fishing leave me to care for the household. There is so much to do there isn't a moments of rest; cleaning, laundry, taking care of the lil one & the dog (who although I walked him 4 times today, decided to pee in the house 5 times).
Sometimes I wish I could just relax & do something I enjoy doing. I can't even spend the quality time I wasn't with the lil one cause there's too much to do around the house. I get grouchy & frustrated.
To top it off I was looking at our pictures from yesterday & they were great except for the ones with me in it. I really do hate seeing what I have become. With 50 extra pounds that's to the prednisone its not hard to feel disgusted. The part i hate is that the one that i am hurting will probably be my sons since he'll look back at those days & wonder why mommy isn't around for pictures.
In Oz, everything is magical. With just a wave of a wand wonderful things happen, wicked things disappear and dreams can come true. Over the rainbow life can be simply...beautiful.
Unfortunately, the road life has chosen for me was not that of the yellow brick road. The Emerald City is no where in sight. It is more often then not that I wish I had that magic wand from Oz.
Life hasn't been completely unfair to me. I have been blessed with a loving family and a beautiful son. For these things I am eternally grateful. It is my dermatomyositis and my son's fight with autism that can draining.
Hence, this blog was created. Here I will document my life…my ups and downs, my good days & bad days, my accomplishments and my failures...my life, outside of Oz.