Being selfish

Sometimes I wonder if I can just have a selfish moment.

Yesterday we went apple picking. It was a nice day. My mom with along with my sister and niece, and my two cousins & their family. It was a nice group. We weren't able to go on the hay ride because they had not started it but over all it was a nice trip. After we finish we all headed to my house were we ate & chatted. It was great.

Today however I feel totally opposite. Hubby went fishing leave me to care for the household. There is so much to do there isn't a moments of rest; cleaning, laundry, taking care of the lil one & the dog (who although I walked him 4 times today, decided to pee in the house 5 times).

Sometimes I wish I could just relax & do something I enjoy doing. I can't even spend the quality time I wasn't with the lil one cause there's too much to do around the house. I get grouchy & frustrated.

To top it off I was looking at our pictures from yesterday & they were great except for the ones with me in it. I really do hate seeing what I have become. With 50 extra pounds that's to the prednisone its not hard to feel disgusted. The part i hate is that the one that i am hurting will probably be my sons since he'll look back at those days & wonder why mommy isn't around for pictures.